Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
