i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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