sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
