hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so let's talk penis.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
