think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
My liver just had a heart attack.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
