I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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