i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
