you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
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