dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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