he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
