The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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