God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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