I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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