I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
