did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
