he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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