Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize