just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
