yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
