READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
