Porn is love you can see.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
