Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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