help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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