apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize