I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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