I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
