Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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