We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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