So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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