Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
