your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
so that wasnt chicken after all
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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