Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
