shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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