Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
