Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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