and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
We need a shit load of segways right now
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
