In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
