Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
