i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You can't special order awesome
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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