hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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