trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize