Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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