If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
