Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
