you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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