Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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