this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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