I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
