Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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