Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize