you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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