It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
