dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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