nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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