I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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