Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
