That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
