I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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