I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
two words...techno handjob
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
