im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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